The Untold Leadership Role of Motherhood

It’s Time to Replace Myths with Mentors in Motherhood

Becoming a parent is one of the most life changing promotions you can get. You go from “me” to “we” overnight. No onboarding, no manual, no formal training. Just a tiny human, a tidal wave of responsibility, and a society that quietly expects you to “figure it

out.”

And I keep wondering:

If we invest so heavily in mentoring leaders in every other area of life, why do we invest so little in the mothers raising the next generation?

The home as your first culture

Every home has its own mini culture. It is the first workplace, the first school, the first spiritual space, the first laboratory of love.

It is here that children first learn:

• What love feels like

• How conflict is handled

• Whether their voice matters

• Whether they are safe to be themselves

  
  

Attachment theory and decades of child development research tell us that a child’s early bond with their primary caregiver shapes emotional health, future relationships and mental wellbeing right into adulthood (NSPCC Learning). Government strategy in the UK now emphasises supporting families from pregnancy to age 5.

In plain language: the way we “do family” in those early years matters, a lot.

Yet most of us stumble into that role carrying our own unexamined stories about our mothers, fathers and what a “good parent” is supposed to be. I hear women talk about their mums or mother-in-laws and feel something is missing. There is love, but also wounds that were never named, patterns that were never challenged.

The science is loud, even if society is quiet

Neuroscience keeps showing us the same truth.The first years of life, especially the first 1,000 days, are a critical window for brain development. A baby’s brain forms around 700 to 1,000 new neural connections every second (UNICEF). Recent UK longitudinal research confirms early childhood is now seen as a national priority .

These connections grow through everyday interactions:

• Eye contact

• Gentle touch

• Comfort when they cry

• Those “serve and return” moments where a baby reaches out and an adult responds (Harvard Centre on the Developing Child)

  
  

These early relationships shape the architecture of the brain and build the foundations for learning, resilience and mental health (NHS Education for Scotland).

So here is the tension:

We know the early years are crucial.

We know nurturing, responsive care is powerful.

And yet parents are still expected to simply “wing it.”

The impossible choice: baby or salary?

On top of everything else, many mothers face the pressure of economic reality.

Across OECD countries, most mothers are now in paid work because one income isn’t enough to support a household (OECD WebFS).

Research shows that returning to work too early can have small negative effects on some areas of child development, especially where support is limited or childcare quality varies (OECD).

But maternal employment also brings positives: reduced financial stress, role modelling, community, and purpose. High quality, affordable childcare supports healthy outcomes for everyone involved (PMC).

Still, here is the truth:

For many women, it does not feel like a real choice.

Some return to work because they must.

Some stay home and face judgement for that choice too.

And whatever you do, someone has an opinion.

We train managers. Why not mothers?

Think about how organisations prepare leaders:

• Management training

• Coaching programmes

• Mentoring schemes

• Leadership development

• Strategy sessions and away days

  
  

Now compare that with how we prepare mothers, who hold one of society’s most influential leadership roles.

We still act as though instinct alone will guide us.

We assume mothers should just “know.”

But instinct without guidance often reenacts old patterns.

Some are beautiful.

Some cause harm.

Many go unexamined.

We would never hire a CEO and say, “Good luck, you’ll figure it out.”But that is exactly what we do with mothers.

Where is the mentoring for mothers?

This is where mentoring belongs. Not training for the sake of training ~ mentoring rooted in wisdom, awareness, emotional intelligence and child development.

Imagine if mothers had:

• Mentors the way graduates and young leaders do

• Reflective spaces to explore their own childhood stories

• Support in understanding attachment and early years science

• Guidance from experienced women, elders, grandmothers, practitioners

• Policy that allowed real choice without financial penalty (UNICEF UK)

  
  

For some mothers, this would affirm what they already know. For others, it might completely transform their story.

The myths that keep us stuck

Our society still carries heavy myths:

• A good mother never struggles

• Stay-at-home mums lack ambition

• Working mums are selfish

• Love alone will tell you everything you need to know

  
  

These beliefs do not come from science or wisdom. They come from outdated expectations and a lack of language around the work mothers do.

The problem isn’t mothers. It’s the story we’ve been told about them.

My dream: real choice for the early years

If I could dream without limits:

• Every parent would understand the importance of the early years (UNICEF).

• Mothers could choose whether to stay home or return to work without judgement or financial strain.

• Motherhood would be recognised as a leadership role that deserves mentoring, not myths.

• Homes would be seen as cultures we intentionally shape, not places we just survive in.

  
  

This is not about perfection or pressure. It’s about truth, science and support.

If the first environment a child knows is the home, and the first leader they know is a parent, why are we not treating motherhood as one of our most strategic roles?

Mothers deserve more than being left alone to “figure it out.” And our children deserve a society that values those early foundations.

If you work in HR, policy, education, healthcare or leadership development, your influence already touches families in ways you may not realise.

What would change if we finally offered mothers the mentorship they deserve?